Guy S. Antoine
January 29, 2007
One thing I know for sure is that tens of millions of people around the world want the U.S. to get the hell out of Iraq and mind its own business.
Of course, George Bush would tell them that he is indeed minding his own business, the oil business!
Who watched the State of the Union address last week? Did you notice how much longer Bush's nose was by the end of his speech? And boy, was he wincing, winking, and twitching! Must have been the uncomfortable feeling of a Pelosi behind his back.
And yes, Madam Speaker! I like the sound of that. A natural role for a lady, if you ask me. But this is small change. The next big thing is Mrs. President.
On a recent day, Pelosi [Nancy], Rice [Condi], Clinton [Hillary], and Royal [Ségolène] were having lunch and discussing privately how to make use of their attributes to grab the seat of ultimate power.
Rice wore her game face (or is it war mask) as usual but despaired that she was losing quickly what seemed for a while to be the next sure thing in her storied career. "Oh my," she said, "I think that darn Colin is dragging me down with him. All those lies about Iraq, I thought they were little white lies. Now they want me to own up to them?"
"Of course, Condi!," said Hillary, "did you think that your little white boy would take care of your little white lies? Now, if only Bill keeps his pecker in check during this long and perilous presidential campaign. He's been doing pretty good so far (for Bill, that is) but I SWEAR, at the next sign of misbehavior, I will SNIP SNIP and have two nice oysters for breakfast."
"Easy," said Ségolène, "he is just showing signs of his impeccable French pedigree and his Oxford education. I think Bill is sooo fine! I would have him run as President of a separated and independent Québec. Then, he can be mine, all mine."
"Ouch! Ouch!! Ségolène," said Nancy, "I am sitting next to you, so watch what you do with your high heels when you get all heated up. For my part, remember, I am a devoted grandmother, so all these man problems are behind me. In fact, all I need now is to go to two state funerals, and all of my work is done for you, women of America. As for you, Ségolène, you can kiss my pelousee... pardon my French."
"Pelouse, you must mean, and what hostility, Madame Speaker! I will have Chirac do the kissing for me. Ask Condi if she didn't love the Royal treatment, and Laura as well... But where is Laura? Oh, I forget, she must be reading Curious George to Georgie Boy. Well, we would not have invited her anyway if it weren't for you Hillary, starting this tradition of First Ladies running for their own slice of the pie.
"Hey, Miss Frenchy, don't forget that you are speaking to the Senator of The State of New York. I have built my own base, thank you. No Barbie/Laurie doll here."
"Ladies," said Nancy and Condi in unison, "calm down!"
"We're in this together, remember. We, women, must take over the world. "
"Been there, done that!," said two non-invited ladies at the table nearby, as they got up in disgust.
"Get your act together," said Ertha.
"Women seating at the table of power should behave like Elizabeth," said Michaëlle, as she adjusted her tiara, "where have you learned your manners?"
"In the U.S.," said Hillary, Nancy, and Condi.
"En France, mais pourquoi?," said Ségolène.
"Go to Haiti," said both Ertha and Michaelle, as they left the group thoroughly puzzled.
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